So its Christmas, the sun is out, snow covering your lawn, and you can almost smell that new overdrive pedal you hope is underneath the Christmas tree. You see various present that all seem to be the size of pedal boxes, and your heart skips a beat. Your grandma hands you the present, and as you open it, your heart sinks in to your gut as what you thought was a pedal, was a box of socks from Walmart. You know she is sensitive and don’t want to disappoint her, and don’t know what to do. Time is running out and you have to respond. Here are a few ways to pretend you really like a gift that isn’t guitar gear.
Say what they want to hear
Sometimes you just have to drop your pride and say, “Awe thank you so much for this set of forks and knives, there couldn’t be anything that I could ever want more.” We know that no one should ever want anything other than gear, but there are some out there who still haven’t come to that revelation. Just accept that some people will never take the hint, and learn to say “thank you” even if it is a box set of summer sausages. Seriously, who wants this stuff?
Eyes wide, Eyebrows high
Fake it ‘til you make it man. When you see the gift, you better expect to give the most in-genuine but exciting look you can possibly muster. Let everyone in the room see your excitement as you quietly suffer in agony, because you really wanted the new Keeley Compressor. Make it natural; it makes the person feel good. We recommend pretending you just saw a long lost friend and give that expression. It doesn’t matter if you really don’t like the Yankee Candle Aunt Susie gave you, act surprised, give her a hug, and silently wish for the opportunity of vengeance.
Don’t Overdo It
Right now, the goal is to make people believe you are excited, so don’t oversell it. You can not afford to be caught pretending. Keep everything sounding sincere. Don’t try to make it look like the best gift ever, because it isn’t, and that person doesn’t think it is. Even though you are faking it, don’t over do it. You are walking a thin line, so at least be a little bit happy that you did get a gift in the first place.
Try to Appreciate the Gifter, Not the Gift
Just remember, at least this person tried. Sure, their try may be the worst try since Star Wars making prequel movies, but hey at least something happened. Even if the person does notice that you don’t like the gift, let them know you still like them. Give them a side hug (because lord knows a bad gift doesn’t deserve a frontal hug) and thank them for it. Maybe next year they will take the hint and get you something that will make you excited to be related again.
Re-gift for You Gear Fund
When you finally get home and are sulking in your lack of guitar gear, remember you can always re-gift it. Instead of spending money on someone else, treat yourself and give the awful gift to someone you would have normally would spend money on. Use it as an excuse to get a new guitar cable or a strap because you are worth more than a gifted fruit cake. Regardless of the stigma, re-gift the bath and body works scents and get yourself gear your truly deserve.
We all know that not everyone takes the Christmas hint, so be sure to have a few of these tips ready to use when the time comes. Even if you don’t get anything you want, enjoy the Christmas season. It is a time to come together with people you love and create memories that will last a lifetime.
Merry Christmas from the GSCo team!